Names have been changed.

A new report came out this month showing that teen pregnancy rates are the lowest they've been in 30 years—but those numbers don't reflect the reality at my school. Even though my friends all know about contraceptives and have access to condoms, I've had several friends get pregnant in the last year.

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In class one day, my friend Karen was sitting next to me. She glanced around the classroom and nervously asked, “Mitzi, do I look pale?”

“Yes you do, are you OK?” I responded. Her hands were shaking and I was pretty sure she was sick.

“I’m pregnant,” Karen said in a scared voice, as if she wished it were just a dream.

“What? Are you serious?” I was stunned. She sighed and told me that basically every time she’d had sex with her boyfriend, they never used contraception, not even a condom. It was weird because she always said she didn’t want a baby any time soon.

Letting It Happen

According to the Guttmacher Institute, which studies unplanned pregnancy, “a sexually active teen who does not use contraception has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within a year.” Somehow, with many teens, this fact doesn’t seem to sink in. I’ve heard a lot of people say that using a condom while having sex gives them less pleasure, or just feels uncomfortable. They don’t see that there’s a disconnect between wanting to have sex without using contraceptives and not wanting to get pregnant—until it’s too late.

Even though many people don’t do anything to avoid pregnancy, not everyone is ready or willing to have a baby. I think that's why abortion rates are so high in my area. Although the abortion rate has declined overall, it's still very high in New York City, where at least two out of every five pregnancies ended in abortion in 2009. That’s a full 41% of pregnancies ending in abortion! (Although most of the women getting abortions were women in their 20s, not teens.)

image by YC-Art Dept

Some people wonder if adolescents just don’t have the information they need to prevent pregnancy. But, at least with my friends, that’s not the issue. It’s amazing how much information we get about safe sex in school, from brochures to sexual health workshops. We’re even offered free condoms.

Secretly Happy

Another possibility is that some people secretly desire a baby, even though they know rationally that it’s a bad idea. YCteen anonymously asked five sexually active teens about their feelings on unplanned pregnancy to see what they thought. Two of the three girls who responded said they’d be secretly happy and excited if they became pregnant, and thought it would make their relationship more secure.

That reminded me of my other friend, Kelly, who also didn’t use protection and is now five months pregnant. She is happy with the idea of becoming a mother. In fact, she and her boyfriend wanted to get pregnant after high school—it just happened a little bit earlier.

However, they’re concerned about money, and worried about going to college and raising the baby at the same time. I think it’s good that they’re happy about having a child, especially since they want to stay together, but I also think that it will be hard to raise a baby when they’re not ready to be parents.

Pregnant Without Support

Although Kelly’s boyfriend is happy about the baby, not every guy would be. The two males who responded to YCteen's questions stated that they were totally unprepared for parenthood, and would feel like their lives were ruined if their girlfriends got pregnant. I think many young women who become pregnant end up aborting when they realize that their boyfriends aren’t on board.

For example, my friend Vanessa went out with her boyfriend for a couple of months, but as soon as he found out she was pregnant, he disappeared. Vanessa’s mother was disappointed and angry, and told Vanessa that abortion was her “best choice.” She wanted the baby, but she knew she couldn’t afford to raise the baby. She did end up aborting. She said she’d definitely use a condom the next time she has sex, but I’m not sure I believe her.

I personally respect everyone’s choices to use contraception or not, but getting pregnant as a teen is not a good idea. We might be able to support our baby spiritually and emotionally, but not economically. I also think that these people are putting themselves at risk of not only getting pregnant, but also getting AIDS or other STDs.

Having sex without protection can change your life—and it’s important to be honest with yourself about whether or not you’re ready for those changes.